there was a time in my life where you were everything. i fell asleep to the sound of your breath, woke up to your voice, read your texts and at one point, you were everything to me. you breathed life into every little thing. god only knows how much i cared. you were the last person I spoke to before I hopped on the plane, and the first person I called after landing. I’d call you when I couldn’t bear to talk to anyone else. I’d call you even when I couldn’t talk. I wasn’t afraid to cry with you around and I wasn’t afraid of anything. You made me invincible. I didn’t care about anyone or anything else. Why bother?
And then, it stopped. I would cry myself to sleep because I know you wouldn’t care. I would hold back, wouldn’t say things I wanted to, or even needed, at the time. And as time went on, I have to say, you fucked up me so bad. I’m not saying you’re more at fault because it was both of us. But fuck. We could have been something. We had so much potential. And I can’t help but resent you for all you didn’t give me.
You were everything to me. And I have my everything. But I guess nothing was really enough to make you stay at all.
I wish you didn’t ditch me on my birthday, or point out every flaw. I just wish you weren’t hostile towards me. I wish we could make amends like we said we would. I wish you didn’t break the promises that meant the most to me.
But wishes aren’t always granted and I guess, sometimes, you have to close the door on some things in life.
I just hope one day, you’ll open it for me; you know that l always have the key under the mat for you anyways.